Tuesday, July 16, 2013

What is God calling me to?

While I was in prayer God spoke to me. I saw lightening bugs and marveled at how they would blink. Does the light serve a purpose? Other bugs don’t need to light. Just as lightning bugs flash in an instant so also God gives us signs that pop up for an instant. Being practical we want the lights to stay on, but that is not their purpose. If God were to allow signs he give us to go on for too long they would become a distraction, the flash of a sign is only to confirm our faith and wonder in almighty God. God in fact has been using signs to direct me toward a future ministry. I am not sure how or what it is, but I know something is coming. It is however a challenge to stay focused on God when he sends me blinking signs, much like the fireflies I mentioned earlier. I was going to serve at a very large well known Christian Festival, and I was asked by a close pastor friend to work as his assistant in the prayer tent. I was unsure at first if I should accept this especially since I am not the most extraverted person, and my prayer life has always been quite personal, but I had decided I needed to make a decision by a certain date. The date finally rolled around and I began some serious prayer in the car on my way to work to figure out if God was calling me to serve in the prayer tent or stay committed to the job that was already assigned to me. God gave me a sign. God placed a thought in my mind as I prayed that I would know what I was to do when I got to my job. When I arrived at work I walked quietly to the office to sign in. There were two people talking and one of them said I will pray for you. I never hear that at work, and they were the first words I heard that day, so I knew God was giving me a sign. Had I not been tuned into God to hear him tell me I will know what to do when I got to work then I probably wouldn’t have thought much more about the incident besides the fact that it was unusual. At The Festival I prayed for quite a few people, but I was surprised at how I knew what many of these people were feeling before they even said it, I could also feel the guilt and oppression on others that was not of them. It was almost kind of surreal and because of festival policy I forced to careful with what I said. When the weather was questionable, (the weather report said 70% chance of thunderstorms until the early evening, then it went to 100% chance we prayed with quite a few groups of kids and the rain stopped in the afternoon, and never returned. Another day a lot of rain was expected and you could see the radar map had a large think band moving across the state. It was huge, yet there was a tiny little sliver where we were that got nothing the whole time. Apparently that sort of thing is quite a regular occurrence, they have a name for it, “the split” because it has happened dramatically several times. I got to pray for an anointing on a guy with his music ministry and for a few couples, but the coolest thing was when God clearly told me to head to the prayer tent when I was off duty. I was not there very long before a lost college age kid stumbled in and said as much, that he felt a call to be there but he did not know why. We started talking about life and he was trying to figure out what he was going to do with school, life etc. As we were praying another college age kid popped in the back of the tent and sat with us. He said again he did not know why he was there, but God told him to come it. He was struggling with similar things. He enrolled in military college but was not sure it was where he was being called, so we prayed. The next day, that kid showed up in the tent to update me. He was about to leave the festival and he got a call from one of the colleges that was represented at the festival begging him not to leave. He told me he won a scholarship there. That was pretty cool. Over all I think God was calling me to the prayer tent to make me more comfortable operating in the gifts of the spirit.. We have been facing some very major and minor trials quite constantly for over a year. I fact the way they have piled up and coming virtually out of nowhere is kind of laughable. God is forcing me into position where I cannot think about the future only to operate in the present. It is clearly the refiner’s fire. Again I think the ministry I am being refined for has to do with the end of days. If you have watched my video on The end of days or the follow up then you are aware of what I am talking about. There was something I was quite confused about this fall and it seemed like I was off in my interpretation, which I now think is not the case. Quite recently I had a dream in which my mother, my sister and myself hid in the basement of a home preparing and seeking shelter from a major storm we knew was likely to destroy the whole house and possible us as well. Shortly after that we found out my mom has stage IV cancer. I was convinced the fall that that my grandmother passed would be the beginning of very serious end times developments as it was shown to me in my dreams a correlation between my Grandmothers health, upheaval in that side of the family specifically in a fall time setting and end of days stuff. Everything but the end of days stuff happened so I was quite confused. I know have come to realize that there was more to the story. My mother has virtually the same disease my Grandmother passed of in the fall and my mother was my Grandmother’s sole caretaker during that time. If all that stuff is not over but continuing when it seemed over then the time line is not closed either, but remains open as long as my mother is alive, unless that were to continue to develop further with other family members. Clearly though my Grandmother’s passing was a sign for me to get serious about all this stuff if nothing more. More recently I had yet another dream that was divided into three parts, but I can now only recall the first part. I was a sort of failing Moses. In the dream I was Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt. God showed me what he was going to do and I was quite confident of it, but I pulled an Abraham. I starting making actions to “help God along” I tried to secure supplies I thought we would need instead of looking to God and even thought God was using me, I was failing because I was distracted by what I thought I needed to do but I was not living in the present to hear what God wanted me to do in the moment. Please don’t take this dream to say I am claiming to be a second Moses or anything, but I think it is just about call. I have a call on my life, God is clear about it, it will be miraculous and amazing and I think I am being called to help people find safety and God during the end times, but it will be better for myself and everyone else if I just focus on listening and following God. Easier said then done.

Monday, April 22, 2013

How to hear that Still Small Voice of God

Sometimes I struggle with how to hear God’s still small voice. Below is an example of a time where it was more clear to me. I was out on our deck. I looked at the church in our backyard and saw 7 lights on the church, which in revelation represents the church and that was brought to my attention. Seconds later I looked to the right and saw 3 short poles in the parking lot that immediately made me think of the trinity, and the fact that God is in front of the church. Then I looked again to the right and saw a power transformer and I had the thought God’s power is behind him. I then understood that I was to continue turning in a clockwise motion to see what God was revealing to me. Looking to the right I saw a stained glass window I created sitting in our kitchen window and I knew behinds God’s power was God’s love. I then saw a pot of flowers and knew that God’s creation reveals his truth, his love and his power. I then saw our chiminea and thought of God’s all-consuming wrath and holiness. After the refiners fire I saw my rows of strawberry plants and though how God has plans for our lives that bear fruit and he is the gardener. I was then back at the church where I had started in the first place. This entire move on my spirit was clearly thoughts placed in my mind. I spent no energy trying to decipher what was being said by particular things. I was drawn to items and words were put on my heart. This sort of things has happened more than once, but it just clarifies how God sometimes speaks. Most of the time however, it doesn’t seem to be that easy. I really have to work to get to a place I hear God clearly. For the past few months God has been quite clear to me that I need to live in the present. I am so consumed finding whatever challenge or call God has next that I often neglect the present and the present is always where God is reaching out his hand to connect with us. I have tried to put things into practice to help. I am praying several times a day, reading about 10 chapters in the Bible a week, reading pages and pages of commentary on those scriptures and also listening to multiple audio sermons a week. But what I have discovered is that unless I really slow down to tune in first I really don’t get a lot of depth. For me a prayer doesn’t always cut it, even if it is genuine. Regular Shabbats on Friday night have also helped clear my mind and begin to understand God’s rest. For once I am able to enjoy and be at peace instead of feeling restless because I am not getting things done as I have in the past. I never really knew how to rest until I experienced the fullness of true rest in Shabbat. That has been one of the more recent tastes, but more was to come. A few weeks ago I hit another break through. In trying to learn more survival skills I came across the phenomenon of bird language. The real study of bird language is much deeper then it sounds. It is also about reading all the other signs and alarms animals give in the wilderness. The kind of guys I am taking cues from are known for their ability to sneak up and touch deer in the wild. Yes they are that good. It is not made up and once you understand how they do it, a while new world of thinking will open to you. God has spoken to me through nature several times and why not? God created us to be stewards of an Earth that reflects God in amazing ways. The world of man is almost detached from the world God created. If you want to see and observe nature up close, to really understand it, that requires serious sensitivity and awareness. To see and understand nature, we need to slow down far beyond even what we view as slow. We need to dump our baggage and stand in awe of God’s creation. We need to observe respectfully, thankfully with a clear mind and a clear heart that is sensitive to everything around it. That still small voice of God is not usually a shofar blast and we need to continually tune ourselves to hear him. In order to be aware of nature you have no choice but to learn to live in the present and to be filled with God’s “shalom.” I have discovered that quite naturally I am able to pick up on things, I am very sensitive, but because I am so sensitive it is very difficult to function in the modern world at the same time, so I have created an alternative mode to operate in and detached myself from the sensitive mode. In my sensitive mode I am almost unaware of time, lost in the moment, full of gratitude with a mind continually day dreaming. Being sensitive it is easily to be disrupted in the modern world and flip automatically into a protection mode, but when you do that you lose the sensitivity and intuition. My job includes a very tight schedule and it causes me to be efficient and focused on my time management skills, which constantly forces me to prioritize whatever is happening and ignore the things I do not have time to fully observe for effectiveness sake. I have discovered this mode I am forced to be in just to function on the modern world puts so much stress on me it causes me to overeat, to react pessimistically and to be ungrateful and apathetic. Not only am I learning how to turn this sensitive mode on, I need to learn to create a hybrid mode between the protection mode and sensitive/awareness mode.